Decisions

Things have continued to be tough around here.   It has been stressful on everyone...even the cats and dog have felt the stress.   Linzi can not seem to learn that the cats will bite and/or scratch when they are constantly being messed with.   Eegan has claws and he will not only use those, he will bite.   Linzi has scratches on her face, hands and stomach.   Yet she just can't stay away from the poor cat.   We have noticed that she is getting tired of the scratches from the cat, but instead of staying away from him, now she seems determined to hurt him in any way she can.   She has tried to stand on him, kick him and smash him with heavy books, toys, you name it.  

Linzi knows that when she sits on the toilet, she needs to scoot back.   If she perches on the front of the toilet she pees all over the floor.   Simply scooting back a little bit and things work great.   One of us have to be in the bathroom all the time with her.   Same thing when she poops.   If you are not in the bathroom with her she will stand up just as the poop is dropping out and drop it on the floor.   I am not sure where this behavior is coming from?   If we are in there she will do it right.   

If we are not downstairs with her when she wants to play.   She will go into every one's bedroom and find things that she is not supposed to get into.   If someone goes downstairs with her she will play with the toys just like she is supposed to.

Lately she has decided to run around the house and OPEN doors.   Completely opposite of what she was doing.   Most of the doors she likes to open are the outside doors.   This is not such a great idea when it is freezing outside.   So again, we have to watch her 24/7 to see what she is doing.    She remains in our bed to keep her from wandering at night.   It was the only way we felt comfortable.   It is not conducive to our sleeping.

We have very good friends who adopted their first daughter when we adopted ours.   We have kept in touch and we get together every other year.    They had been praying about Linzi and our family.   He told them that they needed to help us.    She came out, spent a long weekend with us and took Linzi home with them.   She is going to work with Linzi one-on-one and home school her.   They also live less than 20 min. from a very large city with all the resources needed to get Linzi the help she needs.   We will be able to watch Linzi grow.    Linzi is still our child, but we are ecstatic about the great care she is receiving.   They are doing respite care.

Our home is quiet.   The girls have stopped fighting.   We have stopped fighting.   No one is yelling at anyone anymore.    It is almost tranquil.   We needed the break.   We miss her.   We call them everyday to see how Linzi is doing.   How they are doing.   Linzi has not stopped, she is keeping them busy, but there aren't as many in their home.   They have the element of youth on their side.   They only have two other daughters.  

Respite care....it has saved our sanity.    Will it remain just respite care?   We don't know.     Have we failed?  NO.   We do feel that her orphanage officials really stretched the truth about Linzi's condition on her referral reports.   We know that they wanted her to get out of the orphanage and get to the USA for help.   I know that it was because of Him that I was the one who arrived in Tianjin to meet Linzi.   If it had been someone who did not understand the Chinese process, they may have very well left her in China.....happens all the time.    Even though Linzi's needs were much more than our family could handle...I knew that I needed to bring her home to get the help she needs.   If not with our family, then with a family who has the time and is close to the resources she needs.     I don't know what she would have done in China after she aged out of the orphanage.  

It has been super tough.    I knew immediately that Linzi had more going on than what we were told.   I knew that we were not going to be able to do as much as she would need to become the person she deserves to be.    But I knew leaving her in China would not be any help to her.    We couldn't help but love her...she is so cute and cuddly at times.    She usually always has a smile on her face.    Our agency told us that they would be behind us 110% in what ever we chose to do.    They kept telling us to give it time.   And yes, we could see some progress, but in the mean time our family was slowly breaking apart.   You can't give 110% to one child when you have 5 other children.   It just doesn't work.   

This is one of the reasons that our blog is now private.   If those of you who stayed around are angry with what we have done...you are welcome to leave our blog.   I really don't need nasty comments about what we have done.    It is the best for Linzi and our family.   Not too long ago I would read something like this on someone's blog and think to myself.   "Why would they want to disrupt?"   Well, now I can say I have walked a mile in their shoes.   I completely understand!   Until you are in this position there is nothing that you know about what you are going to have to do.    It SUCKS!!