we met a very scared little girl in the Guangdong Civil Affairs Bureau office. She was brave when they walked her out to meet us, but in a few minutes she dissolved into quiet tears. Soon she was wailing and I knew that she would bond with us...eventually. RaeAnne was 10 at the time and was so upset that we were "making" her come with us. Even though I had tried to prepare her for what Long Ji Xing may feel at the time, it was overwhelming for Rae to watch her cry. RaeAnne said "Mom I am getting a headache and I feel so sorry for her." Zora had seen it before and took it like the Pro Mini-mom she is! She grabbed a hold of Long Ji Xing's hand and took her over to where we were to sit.
Long Ji Xing fought me hard on the way out of the office. But I knew that it was my job to carry her away from the people that she knew. It was so tough. There were other parents there who had just met their new children and I felt that they were all staring at us. One mom met my eyes and gave me a reassuring nod. I noticed that she had just met an older child than I had.
Long Ji Xing rode in the van to the hotel quietly with our guide. She told him something and I asked what she had said. He said, "She asked me to take her to my house." She did not want to go with us, instead she felt more comfortable with a Chinese man. That really made my heart hurt for her. She was scared to death. When we arrived at the hotel, I got out of the van and turned around and picked her up. She started fighting me immediately but I held on tight. I could feel the eyes of the hotel staff looking at this white woman carrying this crying, fighting child while two other Chinese girls were with me. Our guide quietly told me that he would go to the room door with us and then return to the lobby and call. After we were in our room I put her down on the bed and she got off and sit on the floor by the small hallway to the door. She was crying and said something we could not understand a couple of times. I looked at her and said, "You don't realize it now, but you will grow to like us soon. I sit on the bed a little ways from her and just kept an eye on her. I was afraid that she would make a run for the door and try to run away.
Elvin soon called our room and asked if everything was okay? She had stopped crying by now and Zora was getting her interested in games and a Nintendo we had brought for her. Her eyes were all red but she was busy observing what her new sister had to show her. RaeAnne had settled down too and took two Tylenol I offered her for her headache.
It wasn't long before the girls were calling Tessa to come see this and they were playing with puzzles on the floor between the beds. I was on the computer sending photos to a new Dad in Kansas telling him that he was the proud father to a beautiful little girl.
Soon it was time for us to eat. Tessa was still not having any of me, so Zora and Rae took her hands and walked down the hallway to the elevators. I didn't realize it at the time, but the were all dressed in dresses and it amazed me looking back at the photos that they really did fit together as sisters!
The orphanage staff told us that she ate rice for each meal. We walked down to Lucy's and everyone looked at the menus and Tessa pointed at french fries. I ordered her a bowl of rice just in case along with the french fries. She really didn't eat too much of anything but did try some of Zora's spaghetti. I think this was the night that a couple sit behind us and their little girl kept looking at my girls. Their little girl was so cute and it looked like she was fitting right in to their family. I was still worried about Tessa. I was thinking what is she thinking at this moment. Does she think we are going to take her back to her former home soon? Or did they tell her what was going to happen? I wished I could read her mind. She seemed to be relaxing with her new sisters and she actually smiled a very little smile a time or two.
We walked back to the hotel and the girls started playing with their puzzles and Game Boys again. Zora took Tessa into the bathroom after a while and I helped them take a bath together. Tessa was like Jordis Li Meng who when we first met her wanted to stand in the bathtub. Zora, who was an old pro at this by now, showed Tessa how it was done. They were having a good time before long. Then it was time to get their pajamas on. They played for a while longer and soon I said it was time for bed. Jet lag was starting to kick my butt and even though it was only 9pm China time I was exhausted and so were the older girls. RaeAnne and ZoraLin came to give me hugs and kisses and Tessa watched them and came and gave me a little tiny sort of hug! I held off giving her a bear hug and kiss, but I sure wanted too. The beds at the White Swan are pretty narrow and Tessa shared a bed with Zora while Rae and I were snug as sardines in ours. I went to sleep thinking about my new daughter. It had been a glorious but somewhat painful day.
Now, four years later, Tessa...who although her legal name is Tessa JiXing, but to me she will always be Tessa Louise JiXing, loves to cuddle with me and her Dad. (I really can't explain it but she is just a Tessa Louise to me! She loves it when I call her that too!!) She will come and crawl in my lap and just hug me. I tease her about how she didn't like me in China. She tells me, "That is because I didn't know you in China!" But she loves us now and we love her to the universe and back! We can't imagine our lives without her in it. And it seems like she has been with us forever. So as I write this it just doesn't seem possible that it was only four years ago today that we first met. I really think that He has a hand in all of this. Each one of our children have come to us in different ways, but we have known what has been expected of us. He puts it in our hearts and we hear and obey what is to be. Thank you for the blessings we have!
