Had a few photos taken this last weekend.

When we first bought the M&M's T's we did not know that Mars was moving to Topeka.   I just happened to run across the shirts in Wally World and thought...we have five girls, there are five colors...jackpot!   So the photos were taken before we found out.  

Then Mars moved to Topeka and they had a M&M's store in downtown Topeka for a month.   That store was hopping busy!   We decided to recreate the photo now that the girls are older.   And since we did not remember if they all still had their shirts, we bought them new ones.   They have grown a bit since the last photos were taken.

We also decided to commemorate the Royals going to the World Series.   Hope they win!  The girls were real excited to have Royals shirts.

Of course, Kendalan had to be goofy.   Sparkle Farkle I call her!

Go Royals!!

Pumpkins, dates and hair

Zora, Jordis, Tessa, Kendalan and I went to the pumpkin patch last Sunday.   The weather could not have been more beautiful.   Of course, the better the weather, the more people out and about.  It was a zoo!   We took a few of the requisite photos and then we watched them doing the pumpkin sling shot. Of course the girls thought that looked like fun, but I said it didn't look like $1.00/2 pumpkins worth of fun.  "Oh Mom!"  I held firm.  The pumpkin patch was a muddy mess and I suggested that we go back another day when it might not be so busy and muddy.

RaeAnne did not make it with us to the patch.  Why?  Well, she was on a "date."   Her friend, who happens to be a boy, asked her to go to the K.C. Renaissance Festival.   Dad and I took Rae over to meet his Grandparents and one of his aunts who was taking them.   So he had two aunts with them as chaperones and the word of the Grandparents that they were all good kids.  Well we know that RaeAnne has been "friends" with this guy since last year and so even though it was a date we were cool with it.   She came home a very happy camper and was very excited about her day, so we were happy for her.   I really did say they could not date until they were 30...I am not sure how this happened.

So we had a little fun at the Pumpkin patch and this week Mom got her hair trimmed.   I had to take a selfie of myself.  I watch the girls do this all the time you would think I could do it in one take...nope! But I did get one good shot out of 10.

It's Fall ya'll...

I was looking through the odds and ends of photos I have taken recently.   Then I looked at the calendar and realized it is already October.  OCTOBER!   Where has this year gone?!   That means that Christmas is just around the corner.  

The littles were outside playing recently.   It was so much fun to watch them do kid things.  Jumping rope.  Blowing bubbles.   They grow up so fast.   Blowing bubbles out here in the country you sometimes have to find the right side of the house so the bubbles don't hit you in the face!

One night I came home from work to find a young boy in the house.  David or Dave as he called himself thought he was real swagger.   I don't know where this child comes up with these ideas?  But she is pretty stinking cute whether she is a he or she is a nerd!

ZoraLin finished volleyball last night.  Sadly her team did not have a winning year, but she has gotten better each game she played.   She is ready to play the next time the opportunity arises and I really think that she will go out again next year.   We are really proud of how well she has done and the bonuses of getting good grades while she has been playing.   Go Chargers!

Jordis turned 12 years old on September 14th.   She has come so far from the shy little girl she was. Happy Birthday Jordis Li Meng!  Now figure out what you want already!  She also brought home a bunch of ribbons and medals from swim team this year.  Can't wait for next year as we will have Kendalan and Tessa join the Overbrook Swim Team!!

We have been busy working in the yard.   I FINALLY have my garden beds out and ready to fill with soil for planting next spring.   Better now then never...I have had these for a couple of years now.

And I can't forget what happens on the playground sometimes does not stay on the playground. Recess is for fun, but define FUN?   Tessa found out what happens when you join hands with the other kids and then run around a pole.   When you are on the outside of the group and let go....you go flying and eventually fall down :(    She has a "buckle" fracture and will be in this lovely cast for three weeks.  Then it is x-rayed and we will know if she gets another cast or is given a reprieve.

I love these girls so much.   Even broken bones are a joy more so that it was not a compound fracture! She has done so well with a cast each time.   The only thing she hates is that Mom has to help her take a bath so she doesn't get her cast wet.   And she still has a smile on her face!!

Broken hearted...

We have checked with several different agency's to see if there was any possibility for us to adopt from China again.   Madison said our best bet would be to wait for several years and then try.  CHI said that they would not try now, basically wait for a while.   BAAS said that after I have been cancer free for THREE years they would check into it.  I will be 2 years cancer free April 19, 2015.  Then we contacted Lifeline.  I had heard that Lifeline had been successful in helping families who have dissolved an adoption here in the USA adopt from China again.   Well, it is not going to happen for us now.   The C3WA told them that right now is not a good time.   But they did not give us a time limit.  Now is not a good time...so in 6 months?  A year?  Two years?   Lifeline is going to ask that question for us and they are also going to tell the C3WA that the child we dissolved has been legally adopted here in the USA by a family who love her very much!

The Lifeline person agrees with me.   If you disrupt your adoption in China and leave the child there you CAN go back and adopt again.  That is SO DUMB!!   Okay...I felt that God had put me in her life for a reason and that reason was NOT to leave her in China!   I knew that I had been given the task to bring her home and if we could not be the family that could help her, we would find the best family we could for her.  And we DID.   They have her enrolled in many things that their state pays for because of her mental disabilities.   She has a para at school to help her.   She has a family who has been down this road with another family member.   They know EXACTLY what they are doing and they love her very much!   They have legally adopted her...I could not see leaving her in China!   She would have never received the care and training that she needs there.  She probably would have been shuffled off to who knows where when she was older.   Most orphans are moved out of the orphanage when they are anywhere from 16 to 21 years old.   Hopefully by that time they have learned a trade but I don't think there would be anything for a person with mental disabilities to do?! God forbid that they would teach her massage and put her on the street to be a hooker!

For instance, this girl will turn 14 in November.   After you reach the age of 14 in China you are no longer adoptable.   Hopefully this girl will be able to work at the orphanage.

She is at the same orphanage that the little girl we had Preapproval for in January 2013.   She is still waiting for a family too. :(   They are basically healthy children!!   I wish we could bring them home!!

I had been looking at waiting child lists and dreaming of bringing home one more.   There were many kids that would fit in our home.   But now I will have to put my dreams on the back burner.  Unless we find another country that we could adopt from. :)   Of course, we do not have the money to adopt at this time either.   I am still picking up only a few PRN hours here and there.   I hope that things pick up soon.   My immediate boss is taking over another department the first of October so maybe she will have more hours for the part time people and then I can pick up part time on the floor!!  Lord this would be something great!!

So this has been my "I am down in the dumps" post.  However I will leave you with news of ZoraLin's first volley ball game.   It was a home game against Wellsville.   Well Wellsville girls have had more practice then our girls have.   But our Chargers gave it their all and I was really proud of Zora and her time on the court.   Her teachers said that she had been pretty nervous all day.  Quite a few of the new players were nervous about their first game.   Now that the first game is over I hope the nerves get better for them.   We have a great bunch of girls playing and if they continue into high school we could have a great team!!   Go SFT!!

This has been such a tough time for me.   Yes, I know that I have five beautiful girls, but I can't get these other kids out of my mind!   There is NO life for them in China.   My dream was to have 6 daughters from China.   And I know we have enough love for at least one more!   Where is that cotton picking money tree when we need it?!  Kendalan asked me the other day what would we do if we won the lottery?   She started naming off things that she wanted us to do.  Like a bedroom for everyone, including the cats and dog!   More vacations!  Traveling more!  She is girl after my own heart!!   I told her it is nice to dream, but don't count on that lottery coming our way.   But wouldn't it be fun?!!   And so is she!   She is practicing dressing up like a nerd for Halloween.  She makes a pretty cute Nerd if I do say so myself!!

Is anyone out there?

I used to think that no news was good news.   Now I think that no comments mean that I am basically talking to myself here.   Is anyone reading this blog?   Does anyone really care?   Hello?  Is anyone there??  If so, please...seriously P.L.E.A.S.E. leave me a comment.   I know that most of the things I post on are the mundane life of the VanCamp's, but every so often it is kind of nice to hear that I am not here alone.

School started September 20th.   Oh dear, where have the years gone?   Kendalan is in 4th, Tessa in 5th, Jordis in 6th, ZoraLin a 7th grader and RaeAnne is a F.R.E.S.H.M.A.N.!!   No!  I can not possibly have a 9th grader this year!  It seems like just a few years ago she was going to Kindergarten.   Rae had band practice a week before school started.   They were practicing marching and playing the school fight song.   I have to admit, in one weeks time they were looking pretty good.   They then put on a performance for the parents/families and the kicker was that they marched in the Overbrook Fair Parade.  They looked and sounded great!   And that is a proud parent talking here!  They have many more things lined up that they will be playing for.  Mostly home games.

ZoraLin is playing Junior High Varsity Volley Ball.   They started practice a few days before school started and they are staying after school until 5:35pm every night practicing.   I can tell that all this practice has made a difference in Zora.   She seems to have grown up!   She is talking like a much older girl.   She seems to have it all going on!   And I am SO PROUD!   I wish she would continue on and play basketball after VB is over, but she is not talking like BB is for her.   She has this tendency to get hit in the head with the ball all the time and basket balls hurt!!   But we will see what happens!   She is #28 on the Volley Ball team.  I will see if I can get her to pose for me in her uniform.

Tessa start band this year and has chosen to play the flute.   So RaeAnne plays the flute, Jordis the clarinet and now Tessa the flute.   Kendalan has said that she wants to play the trumpet next year.  So we will have four in band.   I hope that one of them may be able to get a scholarship to band in college.  Oh Mom's wishful thinking!  I am just tickled to death that they are doing great with their instruments!

Okay, for those of your who are reading this...please post a comment.  It doesn't have to be anything long, just a hi would be great.  Just so I know I am not talking to myself here!!   I hope to post more exciting things!  Thank you!

P.S.  Thanks for the comments!  I   R.E.A.L.L.Y.  appreciate them!

Four years ago.....

we met a very scared little girl in the Guangdong Civil Affairs Bureau office.   She was brave when they walked her out to meet us, but in a few minutes she dissolved into quiet tears.    Soon she was wailing and I knew that she would bond with us...eventually.   RaeAnne was 10 at the time and was so upset that we were "making" her come with us.   Even though I had tried to prepare her for what Long Ji Xing may feel at the time, it was overwhelming for Rae to watch her cry.  RaeAnne said "Mom I am getting a headache and I feel so sorry for her."    Zora had seen it before and took it like the Pro Mini-mom she is!   She grabbed a hold of Long Ji Xing's hand and took her over to where we were to sit.

Long Ji Xing fought me hard on the way out of the office.   But I knew that it was my job to carry her away from the people that she knew.   It was so tough.   There were other parents there who had just met their new children and I felt that they were all staring at us.  One mom met my eyes and gave me a reassuring nod. I noticed that she had just met an older child than I had.

Long Ji Xing rode in the van to the hotel quietly with our guide.   She told him something and I asked what she had said.   He said, "She asked me to take her to my house."  She did not want to go with us, instead she felt more comfortable with a Chinese man.  That really made my heart hurt for her.   She was scared to death.   When we arrived at the hotel, I got out of the van and turned around and picked her up.   She started fighting me immediately but I held on tight.   I could feel the eyes of the hotel staff looking at this white woman carrying this crying, fighting child while two other Chinese girls were with me.   Our guide quietly told me that he would go to the room door with us and then return to the lobby and call.   After we were in our room I put her down on the bed and she got off and sit on the floor by the small hallway to the door.   She was crying and said something we could not understand a couple of times.   I looked at her and said, "You don't realize it now, but you will grow to like us soon.   I sit on the bed a little ways from her and just kept an eye on her.  I was afraid that she would make a run for the door and try to run away.

Elvin soon called our room and asked if everything was okay?   She had stopped crying by now and Zora was getting her interested in games and a Nintendo we had brought for her.   Her eyes were all red but she was busy observing what her new sister had to show her.   RaeAnne had settled down too and took two Tylenol I offered her for her headache.

It wasn't long before the girls were calling Tessa to come see this and they were playing with puzzles on the floor between the beds.   I was on the computer sending photos to a new Dad in Kansas telling him that he was the proud father to a beautiful little girl.

Soon it was time for us to eat.   Tessa was still not having any of me, so Zora and Rae took her hands and walked down the hallway to the elevators.   I didn't realize it at the time, but the were all dressed in dresses and it amazed me looking back at the photos that they really did fit together as sisters!

The orphanage staff told us that she ate rice for each meal.   We walked down to Lucy's and everyone looked at the menus and Tessa pointed at french fries.   I ordered her a bowl of rice just in case along with the french fries.   She really didn't eat too much of anything but did try some of Zora's spaghetti.  I think this was the night that a couple sit behind us and their little girl kept looking at my girls.   Their little girl was so cute and it looked like she was fitting right in to their family.   I was still worried about Tessa.   I was thinking what is she thinking at this moment.   Does she think we are going to take her back to her former home soon?  Or did they tell her what was going to happen?   I wished I could read her mind.  She seemed to be relaxing with her new sisters and she actually smiled a very little smile a time or two.

We walked back to the hotel and the girls started playing with their puzzles and Game Boys again.   Zora took Tessa into the bathroom after a while and I helped them take a bath together.   Tessa was like Jordis Li Meng who when we first met her wanted to stand in the bathtub.   Zora, who was an old pro at this by now, showed Tessa how it was done.   They were having a good time before long.   Then it was time to get their pajamas on.   They played for a while longer and soon I said it was time for bed.  Jet lag was starting to kick my butt and even though it was only 9pm China time I was exhausted and so were the older girls.   RaeAnne and ZoraLin came to give me hugs and kisses and Tessa watched them and came and gave me a little tiny sort of hug!   I held off giving her a bear hug and kiss, but I sure wanted too.   The beds at the White Swan are pretty narrow and Tessa shared a bed with Zora while Rae and I were snug as sardines in ours.  I went to sleep thinking about my new daughter.  It had been a glorious but somewhat painful day.

Now, four years later, Tessa...who although her legal name is Tessa JiXing, but to me she will always be Tessa Louise JiXing, loves to cuddle with me and her Dad.  (I really can't explain it but she is just a Tessa Louise to me!  She loves it when I call her that too!!)  She will come and crawl in my lap and just hug me.  I tease her about how she didn't like me in China.  She tells me, "That is because I didn't know you in China!" But she loves us now and we love her to the universe and back!   We can't imagine our lives without her in it. And it seems like she has been with us forever.   So as I write this it just doesn't seem possible that it was only four years ago today that we first met.   I really think that He has a hand in all of this.   Each one of our children have come to us in different ways, but we have known what has been expected of us.   He puts it in our hearts and we hear and obey what is to be.   Thank you for the blessings we have!